You make a good point and I’m definitely not suggesting that for a second. This post is meant specifically about people we loved and lost. People we knew intimately well, not just anyone.
Oh this is such an important point, Ruhie! Thanks so much for bringing this up. It took me a little while to start talking about Ren's annoying and negative qualities, but pretty much only with my husband. I think there are boundaries outside of the family. But you're right; acknowledging the whole person is essential.
I agree, Tiffany! There’s absolutely a line when it comes to what negative things we say about them and, importantly, who we share them with. And every situation is going to be different. I’m fortunate to have had a good man as my dad and a close bond with him, so I’m aware that I come at this conversation from a very different vantage point to someone who had a fraught relationship with the person they lost. But overall, there is value in remembering everything about them — so many of those little idiosyncrasies that vexed us when they were alive are what made them uniquely them and often are what we miss most about them now that they’re gone. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights! I always value your meaningful comments Tiffany ✨🫶
You never talk ill of the dead but with close family members as you said you can talk about their minor little negative points.
The competitive nature is a really good one. He generally always wanted to be best at everything and would really gloat when he’d beat you. He was a better dancer than me and was quick to remind me!
Another annoying one I remember is your dad always buying Seven Eleven coffee when I’d buy one from a cafe. His reason would be that he liked the Seven Eleven coffee more but deep down I knew it was because the cafe coffee cost more which he’d never admit to.
And of course I’d feel a tiny bit guilty that I had the more expensive one and also annoyed at him.
Overall though he was a wonderful person which we always remember but the little annoying things he did still bring a smile to our faces.
Such memories not only bring us laughter but also remind us of his cheeky nature.
You’ve raised a great point here about the role of laughter and remembering them with some levity. When you lose someone you love, grief weighs incredibly heavy. The heartache and sorrow feel insurmountable. Recalling everything that was good about them only adds to the pain of their loss. But sharing stories about their idiosyncrasies and not-so-great traits brings a bit of humour that cuts through the darkness, even just a little. Thanks for this insightful and thought-provoking comment 🙏🏼❤️
Its an amazing thought Ruhie to even contemplate and explore a negativity in a person who is not with us any more.
Its true we always learn by our own mistakes during our own lives, but to learn from the flaws of a person who is not with us is something I just learnt from your beautiful writings Your points are quite valid, but for the sake of respect it's human nature never to discuss any thing negative in public.Your incredible writings highlights the importance of recalling, such qualities in a person, again to learn something out of it, which is a positive outcome.
Congratulations for all your outstanding writings, thoughts, and memories of our dear Sanjay who is always in our thoughts in our daily lives.
Thank you so much for this feedback! It’s lovely to hear that what I’ve shared here was meaningful to you. And thank you truly for always holding Dad in your hearts and minds 🙏🏼🙏🏼
We don’t speak well of Hitler, Stalin, etc. We do need to have compassion on those left behind, though
You make a good point and I’m definitely not suggesting that for a second. This post is meant specifically about people we loved and lost. People we knew intimately well, not just anyone.
Oh this is such an important point, Ruhie! Thanks so much for bringing this up. It took me a little while to start talking about Ren's annoying and negative qualities, but pretty much only with my husband. I think there are boundaries outside of the family. But you're right; acknowledging the whole person is essential.
I agree, Tiffany! There’s absolutely a line when it comes to what negative things we say about them and, importantly, who we share them with. And every situation is going to be different. I’m fortunate to have had a good man as my dad and a close bond with him, so I’m aware that I come at this conversation from a very different vantage point to someone who had a fraught relationship with the person they lost. But overall, there is value in remembering everything about them — so many of those little idiosyncrasies that vexed us when they were alive are what made them uniquely them and often are what we miss most about them now that they’re gone. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights! I always value your meaningful comments Tiffany ✨🫶
You never talk ill of the dead but with close family members as you said you can talk about their minor little negative points.
The competitive nature is a really good one. He generally always wanted to be best at everything and would really gloat when he’d beat you. He was a better dancer than me and was quick to remind me!
Another annoying one I remember is your dad always buying Seven Eleven coffee when I’d buy one from a cafe. His reason would be that he liked the Seven Eleven coffee more but deep down I knew it was because the cafe coffee cost more which he’d never admit to.
And of course I’d feel a tiny bit guilty that I had the more expensive one and also annoyed at him.
Overall though he was a wonderful person which we always remember but the little annoying things he did still bring a smile to our faces.
Such memories not only bring us laughter but also remind us of his cheeky nature.
It’s good to remember the whole person for sure.
You’ve raised a great point here about the role of laughter and remembering them with some levity. When you lose someone you love, grief weighs incredibly heavy. The heartache and sorrow feel insurmountable. Recalling everything that was good about them only adds to the pain of their loss. But sharing stories about their idiosyncrasies and not-so-great traits brings a bit of humour that cuts through the darkness, even just a little. Thanks for this insightful and thought-provoking comment 🙏🏼❤️
Its an amazing thought Ruhie to even contemplate and explore a negativity in a person who is not with us any more.
Its true we always learn by our own mistakes during our own lives, but to learn from the flaws of a person who is not with us is something I just learnt from your beautiful writings Your points are quite valid, but for the sake of respect it's human nature never to discuss any thing negative in public.Your incredible writings highlights the importance of recalling, such qualities in a person, again to learn something out of it, which is a positive outcome.
Congratulations for all your outstanding writings, thoughts, and memories of our dear Sanjay who is always in our thoughts in our daily lives.
Thank you so much for this feedback! It’s lovely to hear that what I’ve shared here was meaningful to you. And thank you truly for always holding Dad in your hearts and minds 🙏🏼🙏🏼