Ruthie, Despite the fact that I am unable to reframe #1, I manage to block it from taking up headspace 98% of the time. When it does show up, I visualize holding up a red octagonal 🛑 stop sign and tell my self, I did nothing wrong.
Thank you so much Ramona 🙏🏼 I speak from years of living with the self-blame and shoulds that go hand in hand with grief. Number 2 is so hard — you’re not alone! I hope this was helpful in shifting the guilt just a little 🫶
Oh Ba, it’s ok! We’re all human. I used to get impatient with Dad too and have regrets about that. But no one is perfect. We all did the best we could — and we can all learn from any misguided actions how to be with the people we love moving forward 🫶✨
I get it, Nancy! The guilt and self-blame are so hard to shake. We loved them but what did we miss? I still struggle with this — but sadly, chastising ourselves achieves nothing and might not have changed the outcome. Please be kind to yourself and take comfort in the knowledge that you no doubt did the best you could at the time with the information and resources you had available to you. Hindsight is always 20/20! 🙏🏼❤️🩹
Ruthie, Despite the fact that I am unable to reframe #1, I manage to block it from taking up headspace 98% of the time. When it does show up, I visualize holding up a red octagonal 🛑 stop sign and tell my self, I did nothing wrong.
I love this visual Nancy! Such a powerful way of shifting these negative and unhelpful thoughts 🙏🏼
Such a helpful and also compassionate view how we grieve. #2 has been the hardest “should” for me.
Thank you so much Ramona 🙏🏼 I speak from years of living with the self-blame and shoulds that go hand in hand with grief. Number 2 is so hard — you’re not alone! I hope this was helpful in shifting the guilt just a little 🫶
Sometimes, when your dada was hard of hearing, I used to get annoyed at him for not concentrating. I regret that
Oh Ba, it’s ok! We’re all human. I used to get impatient with Dad too and have regrets about that. But no one is perfect. We all did the best we could — and we can all learn from any misguided actions how to be with the people we love moving forward 🫶✨
The hardest thing in my grief is not having your dada sitting with me
Yes it really is! Missing that person’s presence is a pain that sadly doesn’t go away 💔
Number 1 is the only one I have not been able to reframe. The others I reframed long before reading this post. But #1? Nope
I get it, Nancy! The guilt and self-blame are so hard to shake. We loved them but what did we miss? I still struggle with this — but sadly, chastising ourselves achieves nothing and might not have changed the outcome. Please be kind to yourself and take comfort in the knowledge that you no doubt did the best you could at the time with the information and resources you had available to you. Hindsight is always 20/20! 🙏🏼❤️🩹