I was number 5 of 6 children, but my oldest 2 sibs were 15 and 16, the next I line was 8 when I was born. The 4th was 15 months old at my birth. And the last sib arrived 20 years after the first. Of, the three youngest I was the middle sib, of a 3 sibling unit. And we fit the dynamics of an easy/responsible child, a challenging child and the favored baby of the family.
I tried very hard not to recreate the pattern, and yet to some degree I was not successful. My eldest was in a class all the way through school that was comprised of eldest or only children. My middle child had Down syndrome and multiple serious co-occuring medical conditions, not all of them associated with DS. My youngest was in a class of younger siblings of the kids in my eldest daughter's class.
We could see birth order dynamics operating in the teachers as well.
Nancy, there’s so much insight in what you’ve shared here! Your experience with birth order patterns in such a big family with wide age gaps really struck a chord with me. It reminds me of my dad, who was the youngest of seven and definitely the classic “spoiled” and “difficult” youngest child! It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in recognising these patterns from childhood but still seeing them show up in my own parenting. I also found it fascinating that you noticed these dynamics play out in the classroom — it just goes to show how common they are, sometimes more than we realise. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience 🙏🏼
Ruhie, as the eldest daughter in my own family this read was so relatable. Though my parents claim to have parented my brother and I the same way, I was definitely expected to be the “good” one and this bred resentment since my temperament isn’t “easy” 😂 In saying this, you’ve given me so much to think about in terms of the expectations I place on my own daughter and why I get triggered when she’s being “difficult”. Thanks for writing this!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Heidi! That pressure to be the “good” one really does run deep, doesn’t it? It’s so interesting to notice how those early roles shape the way we respond to our own kids now as parents ourselves! I’m really glad this piece resonated with you and gave you space to reflect. We’re all learning in real time ❤️
I was number 5 of 6 children, but my oldest 2 sibs were 15 and 16, the next I line was 8 when I was born. The 4th was 15 months old at my birth. And the last sib arrived 20 years after the first. Of, the three youngest I was the middle sib, of a 3 sibling unit. And we fit the dynamics of an easy/responsible child, a challenging child and the favored baby of the family.
I tried very hard not to recreate the pattern, and yet to some degree I was not successful. My eldest was in a class all the way through school that was comprised of eldest or only children. My middle child had Down syndrome and multiple serious co-occuring medical conditions, not all of them associated with DS. My youngest was in a class of younger siblings of the kids in my eldest daughter's class.
We could see birth order dynamics operating in the teachers as well.
Nancy, there’s so much insight in what you’ve shared here! Your experience with birth order patterns in such a big family with wide age gaps really struck a chord with me. It reminds me of my dad, who was the youngest of seven and definitely the classic “spoiled” and “difficult” youngest child! It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in recognising these patterns from childhood but still seeing them show up in my own parenting. I also found it fascinating that you noticed these dynamics play out in the classroom — it just goes to show how common they are, sometimes more than we realise. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience 🙏🏼
Ruhie, as the eldest daughter in my own family this read was so relatable. Though my parents claim to have parented my brother and I the same way, I was definitely expected to be the “good” one and this bred resentment since my temperament isn’t “easy” 😂 In saying this, you’ve given me so much to think about in terms of the expectations I place on my own daughter and why I get triggered when she’s being “difficult”. Thanks for writing this!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Heidi! That pressure to be the “good” one really does run deep, doesn’t it? It’s so interesting to notice how those early roles shape the way we respond to our own kids now as parents ourselves! I’m really glad this piece resonated with you and gave you space to reflect. We’re all learning in real time ❤️