#8 A lesson in kindness
Though there is much horror and sorrow in the world, this conversation made me realise there is goodness, too, and we are all born with it.
In today’s newsletter I share a little moment of magic in my everyday life that (at least temporarily) cut through the bleakness and darkness of the current state of the world, reminding me that no matter who we are, where we come from, or what we go through, we are all born kind. It restored (at least temporarily) my faith in humanity and inspired hope for a kinder future.
I’d love to hear from you!
When you’re done reading, click the comment button at the end of the piece and share with us:
What’s one example of kindness you’ve seen recently? (It could be something you did for someone else, or vice versa, or perhaps something you observed.)
Do you agree that children are born inherently kind?
How have you worked at maintaining thoughtfulness throughout your own life into adulthood?
In case you need a quick refresher, click HERE to learn more about me, my why, and this Substack which is a series of letters to my Dad, Sanjay — sharing moments that touch my heart and the valuable lessons I learn from them.
Dear Dad,
There is so much hate in the world right now. So much anger and violence, chaos and fear, judgement and division, horror and sorrow. It’s hard not to feel utter despair listening to the news cycle, and lose hope for a better world.
But there is goodness, too. Do you know what helps to restore my faith in humanity? Bearing witness to the unbridled innocence and inherent kindness of little children, who are the future.
Before our trip recently, we took the kids out to the shopping centre to get holiday supplies. New swimmers for Zaz, beach toys (because the many MANY we’d accumulated last summer have somehow mysteriously disappeared), loads of sunscreen, and the pharmacy’s entire range of Panadol (1-12 months, 1-5 years, 5-12 years, and adult) – because we’re in that phase of life right now where we must stock four different kinds of paracetamol at all times.
Famished after walking around for what felt like hours (actually about forty minutes), we decided to stop at a cafe for burgers. On our way there, we walked past a homeless man sitting under a pillar, his wiry grey beard matted, clothes dirty and faded, hands limply holding a cardboard sign with frayed edges and black writing I couldn’t quite make out.
Our older two kids had never encountered a person like this before. They stared in the awkward way little kids stare at others far longer than they should, and you feel this desperate need to hurry them along.
“Why is that man sitting there?” They asked once we were seated at the cafe.
From our outdoor booth, we could still see him. We explained that he probably doesn’t have a place to live.
“If he doesn’t have a place to live, where does he sleep?” “Where is his bed?”
“What does his sign say?” “Why is he holding a sign?”
“What does he eat?” “Where does he get food?”
“What happened to his clothes?”
They peppered us with questions. I must admit, we found some pretty difficult to answer. We wanted to be sensitive to an important topic and mindful of the fact that we didn’t know this particular man’s situation. We wanted to give the kids enough information so they didn’t feel we were lying or hiding things from them — so they knew it was okay to be curious about new things they come across — but in a way that was age-appropriate and didn’t shatter their innocent view of the world at this tender age.
Their little eyes kept flickering back and forth from the man, to their food, to us, and back to the man. They fell silent for a few moments.
“What if,” said Az – bursting with excitement the way kids do when they have what they think is a brilliant new idea – “we move to a different home… and then he can move into our home?!”
“Yeah, and he can have all my toys and the food in our fridge!” Added Riz (who I have to add, is very attached to both his toys and food).
We were gobsmacked. Practicalities aside (seriously, where do they get these ideas?), their readiness to up and move our entire family for the sake of someone they don’t know, blew me away — as did their willingness, without prompting or hesitation, to give up something that is a vital part of their life because someone else needs it more.
This is not to say my kids are somehow special. I genuinely believe, and have seen time and time again, that children are born with innocence and kindness in their hearts – blind to the prejudices of the world that over time threaten to chip away at their intrinsic thoughtfulness and turn us into more jaded, inward-focused adults.
We ALL start our lives and journeys with innocence and kindness in our hearts.
I don’t have the answers for how we can all continue to tap into this internal reservoir as we get older, or more pertinently, why some go so awry in their quest for whatever is their staunchly-held version of rightness or justice.
What I do know is that most children see past race, colour, religion, gender, sexuality, socioeconomic status, and a person’s physical appearance — before they’ve been influenced by the grown-ups around them (along with the internet/social media/television).
We can all learn so much from kids about seeing the good in others and being kind to others — not just those we know and care about, who live the way we do and hold the same beliefs, but anyone we come across who needs it, simply because they are another human being.
I’m not naive enough to think this is the solution to all the world’s problems. But it gives me hope that perhaps this next generation of children, if they are nurtured to hold onto their natural tendency towards kindness, will change the world for good…
Miss you every day, Dad. Love you always. Until next time 💌
Ruhie
I’d love to hear from you!
Click the comment button below and share with us:
What’s one example of kindness you’ve seen recently? (It could be something you did for someone else, or vice versa, or perhaps something you observed.)
Do you agree that children are born inherently kind?
How have you worked at maintaining thoughtfulness throughout your own life into adulthood?
Thanks so much for being here! If you got value from this and you think others might too, please:
Click the HEART button 💟 and leave me a COMMENT 💬
SUBSCRIBE for free to “From the Heart to Beyond”
SHARE my newsletter with someone you think would enjoy it
And don’t forget to
🌈 Live Fully
💛 Love Deeply
😁 Laugh Often
⏳ Make the most of the time we are given.
Very beautiful letter Ruhie.. I have been reading all your writings to your dad with a lot of interest and admire you for your thoughts, the expression of love and attachment you had with your Dad, the emotions, language and writing skills that go with it are all exemplary. Not a single day goes by
for us without thinking of Sanjay as we have developed that special bondage, love and respect for him during the coures of our short association. Likewise, he used to respect us a lot and used to take a special care of our family at every family gathering and social events.
Kindness was always inherent with Sanjay. Noble, kind and Charitable person he was, I believe and glad that such qualities have been inherited by his Grandchildren. I can already see many examples of kindness in Az and Rz. I am sure as they grow, they will inculcate many such qualities and become a model to the community just like their Sanjay dada.
I do think children are born without prejudice but get socialized gradually through the environment - family, school, community, to hold the values they do as they grow. One way to retain non-discriminatory attitudes and values in them is open discussion, encouraging practical acts of kindness (even to the man) to people in their milieu, and parental example. As they grow they may themselves experience prejudicial attitudes and parental guidance on wholesome, humane, ways of dealing this depending on the situation would be very important
Az and Riz are great kids