Very beautiful letter Ruhie.. I have been reading all your writings to your dad with a lot of interest and admire you for your thoughts, the expression of love and attachment you had with your Dad, the emotions, language and writing skills that go with it are all exemplary. Not a single day goes by
for us without thinking of Sanjay as we have developed that special bondage, love and respect for him during the coures of our short association. Likewise, he used to respect us a lot and used to take a special care of our family at every family gathering and social events.
Kindness was always inherent with Sanjay. Noble, kind and Charitable person he was, I believe and glad that such qualities have been inherited by his Grandchildren. I can already see many examples of kindness in Az and Rz. I am sure as they grow, they will inculcate many such qualities and become a model to the community just like their Sanjay dada.
Thank you Mavayya! Dad was indeed a kind soul and I know he would have appreciated this conversation so much if he was here today. I sincerely appreciate your lovely words both about Dad and the special connection you all had (for which I am eternally grateful), as well as about my writing ❤️
I do think children are born without prejudice but get socialized gradually through the environment - family, school, community, to hold the values they do as they grow. One way to retain non-discriminatory attitudes and values in them is open discussion, encouraging practical acts of kindness (even to the man) to people in their milieu, and parental example. As they grow they may themselves experience prejudicial attitudes and parental guidance on wholesome, humane, ways of dealing this depending on the situation would be very important
Thank you Jean! Such an insightful answer and I wholeheartedly agree. There are so many external factors - parents, community, internet, social media etc etc - that can influence kids are they grow up. Their natural predilection for kindness though is truly inspiring, something to learn from and aspire to continue practising throughout our lives ❤️
Beautiful letter ! Yes I think children are generally v kind and if they have good parental values they continue being kind . That's what I believe. Sometimes kindness is shown by people who don't even know you or only know you v little and thats v good to see .
Thanks Vaishalee aunty 💛 That’s so true - kindness can come from the most unexpected places and people! And you make a very good point that parents play an important role in nurturing children’s natural kindness as well as modelling it themselves :)
This is so precious, Ruhie! Being a mother and having the task of shaping a little person’s heart and worldview is such a profound privilege. Your words always give me hope!
Thanks Heidi! It is truly a privilege, and such a blessing to witness the way their minds work and process the world. Their natural predisposition towards kindness and inclusivity is inspiring and fills me with hope! As parents it is our job to teach our children, but honestly I have learnt and am learning so much from them myself. Have you found that too?? Its powerful stuff! ❤️
In my experience, I am surprised by a child’s capacity to be both selfless and self-preserving. Maybe it’s a single child thing, but I’m constantly having to remind my girl to share, take turns, that she’s not the centre of the universe. Her survival Boss Baby instincts are innate 😅 At the same time, she already has the capacity to see genuine vulnerability and to be selfless during those times. For example, when my 12 year old nephew with special needs visited recently, she told me she wanted to share her favourite toy with him despite him shoving her around and pulling her hair. I’m also inspired by how quick she is to forgive me in all my imperfect mum moments. 🥲 She’s inspired me to be quicker to apologise and own up to my own faults!
Aww that’s so sweet of her! You make a really good point — kids are both egocentric in that they think the world revolves around them and might struggle to do things like share with others because haven’t yet developed that skill or emotional regulation, while at their core having this innate capacity for kindness, inclusivity and forgiveness that comes out in moments like these ❤️
Beautiful. I believe the kindness the kids show comes from those whom they see and learn from every day—parents and family. When we constantly show kindness I really hope that will let our kids realize it’s goodness. I’m touched by your lovely kids, Ruhie.
Thanks Shanjitha! I believe all kids are born with a natural tendency to be kind to others, and you’re absolutely right that over time they pick up on the behaviour and practises of those around them. These environmental influences are strong, sometimes to the point of overshadowing the instincts with which they start out their lives. You can’t be what you can’t see, right? Thank you 🫶
Thanks Mum for this thoughtful response! I completely agree — kindness is something we are all born with and children are a beautiful example of this! But we can lose touch with it over time as we become busy with our lives and face our own hardships. I believe kindness is something we need to intentionally practise and foster throughout our lives, as well as seeing in others around us 💛
Naturally children are kind . One good example is our dearest Az, who offered his friendship to a boy who had no friends. I am in awe of your children, my great grand children. Rz and Zaz will follow in the footsteps of their elder brother.
Very beautiful letter Ruhie.. I have been reading all your writings to your dad with a lot of interest and admire you for your thoughts, the expression of love and attachment you had with your Dad, the emotions, language and writing skills that go with it are all exemplary. Not a single day goes by
for us without thinking of Sanjay as we have developed that special bondage, love and respect for him during the coures of our short association. Likewise, he used to respect us a lot and used to take a special care of our family at every family gathering and social events.
Kindness was always inherent with Sanjay. Noble, kind and Charitable person he was, I believe and glad that such qualities have been inherited by his Grandchildren. I can already see many examples of kindness in Az and Rz. I am sure as they grow, they will inculcate many such qualities and become a model to the community just like their Sanjay dada.
Thank you Mavayya! Dad was indeed a kind soul and I know he would have appreciated this conversation so much if he was here today. I sincerely appreciate your lovely words both about Dad and the special connection you all had (for which I am eternally grateful), as well as about my writing ❤️
I do think children are born without prejudice but get socialized gradually through the environment - family, school, community, to hold the values they do as they grow. One way to retain non-discriminatory attitudes and values in them is open discussion, encouraging practical acts of kindness (even to the man) to people in their milieu, and parental example. As they grow they may themselves experience prejudicial attitudes and parental guidance on wholesome, humane, ways of dealing this depending on the situation would be very important
Az and Riz are great kids
Thank you Jean! Such an insightful answer and I wholeheartedly agree. There are so many external factors - parents, community, internet, social media etc etc - that can influence kids are they grow up. Their natural predilection for kindness though is truly inspiring, something to learn from and aspire to continue practising throughout our lives ❤️
Beautiful letter ! Yes I think children are generally v kind and if they have good parental values they continue being kind . That's what I believe. Sometimes kindness is shown by people who don't even know you or only know you v little and thats v good to see .
To receive kindness one must also be kind .
Thanks Vaishalee aunty 💛 That’s so true - kindness can come from the most unexpected places and people! And you make a very good point that parents play an important role in nurturing children’s natural kindness as well as modelling it themselves :)
This is so precious, Ruhie! Being a mother and having the task of shaping a little person’s heart and worldview is such a profound privilege. Your words always give me hope!
Thanks Heidi! It is truly a privilege, and such a blessing to witness the way their minds work and process the world. Their natural predisposition towards kindness and inclusivity is inspiring and fills me with hope! As parents it is our job to teach our children, but honestly I have learnt and am learning so much from them myself. Have you found that too?? Its powerful stuff! ❤️
In my experience, I am surprised by a child’s capacity to be both selfless and self-preserving. Maybe it’s a single child thing, but I’m constantly having to remind my girl to share, take turns, that she’s not the centre of the universe. Her survival Boss Baby instincts are innate 😅 At the same time, she already has the capacity to see genuine vulnerability and to be selfless during those times. For example, when my 12 year old nephew with special needs visited recently, she told me she wanted to share her favourite toy with him despite him shoving her around and pulling her hair. I’m also inspired by how quick she is to forgive me in all my imperfect mum moments. 🥲 She’s inspired me to be quicker to apologise and own up to my own faults!
Aww that’s so sweet of her! You make a really good point — kids are both egocentric in that they think the world revolves around them and might struggle to do things like share with others because haven’t yet developed that skill or emotional regulation, while at their core having this innate capacity for kindness, inclusivity and forgiveness that comes out in moments like these ❤️
Beautiful. I believe the kindness the kids show comes from those whom they see and learn from every day—parents and family. When we constantly show kindness I really hope that will let our kids realize it’s goodness. I’m touched by your lovely kids, Ruhie.
Thanks Shanjitha! I believe all kids are born with a natural tendency to be kind to others, and you’re absolutely right that over time they pick up on the behaviour and practises of those around them. These environmental influences are strong, sometimes to the point of overshadowing the instincts with which they start out their lives. You can’t be what you can’t see, right? Thank you 🫶
Yeah 😊
Beautiful letter Ruhie!!
I agree kids are inherently kind but some lose this quality when facing the harsh realities of life such as bullying, exclusion, selfishness etc.
How they maintain their kindness I guess depends on parental, family and friendship support.
I think as responsibilities of life take over such as work, house work etc people tend to forget about being kind.
At least that’s the way it was with me.
It’s going through certain hardships and ‘surviving’ those with a lot of support you learn to be kind again.
The help we had from our friends and family during your Dad’s illness makes you see that that quality is still there in people.
Then you realise you need to find it in you as well.
As I age I understand that to receive kindness you need to be kind.
Thanks Mum for this thoughtful response! I completely agree — kindness is something we are all born with and children are a beautiful example of this! But we can lose touch with it over time as we become busy with our lives and face our own hardships. I believe kindness is something we need to intentionally practise and foster throughout our lives, as well as seeing in others around us 💛
Naturally children are kind . One good example is our dearest Az, who offered his friendship to a boy who had no friends. I am in awe of your children, my great grand children. Rz and Zaz will follow in the footsteps of their elder brother.
Thanks Ba for this lovely message ❤️ All children are naturally kind, which means everyone is born with goodness in their hearts!