Thank you so much for reading Shell! You're right about healing and I find there is healing in all phases - the writing, the sharing and the interactions that come from it. I look forward to reading more of your work too :)
Dear Ruhie . I was so moved by your amazing writing . It relates so much with my family . Our world was shattered when we were told that our son has Autism as you know is not curable . At first we were so shell shocked . It took us a while to even think about how to move forward . Now we try and do what we can for him - keeping him happy and healthy . Take him on trips , eat out ( what he enjoys) . Believe me it's still not easy at all . It is with us forever .
Your write up about enjoy the moment is so true . Keep writing !!!
Thank you so much Vaishalee aunty! I fully understand and appreciate you pointing out how a lot of what I share relates to you and your family too. Grief comes in many forms right? Although the situations are different, the human experience is in essence very similar. The shock, the heartache, the grief over what we imagine life will look like versus the reality we are faced with, and how we ultimately find ways to cope and live with joy through unimaginable hardship. You and your family are a true inspiration in regards to this latter point ❤️
Hello Ruhie, so wonderful to share in your letters to your Dad, overcoming his objections about making him so special. I admire your taking it on to share deeply, inviting me to be in this with you and thereby also allow myself to be vulnerable, as you are. I've recently been on LoveBrain, a four-day course for memory, focus and reading speed with a 90 day mastery programme. During LoveBrain's four days we looked at how our brain stops us as it's designed to protect us. So we learn mastery over our brain. One process we go through afterwards is writing to our parents, one after the other. The first letters are done on toilet paper, expressing all the anger, hurt, shame, and this is called 'I release you'. That gets put into running water or down the toilet, or if the parent is deceased, it gets burned. I started with the parent I was closest to, my mother. It took four 'I release you' letters. Then I wrote a love letter to my Mama, and as I'm writing this I feel that love for my mother. With my father it took five 'I release you' letters, and again a love letter. I feel that love for him as I write this, much more deeply than I've ever felt. It was a great release for me, as I know my brain was holding onto 5,000 years of my ancestors protecting it, personified in my mother and father. The course and also myself are not blaming my parents, just letting that hold of the past go. It's so beautiful to see how you and your family were able to care for your father, to let him know how much he is loved, and you are doing that in your letters to him. I am so happy I have written to my parents at this stage. I only hope that my son can go through such a process as I know there is so much to let go of. That is for him to take on. I'm looking forward to reading more of your letters. Katherine and I had our memoir writing review Thursday 15th Aug, and we both hope that you will carry on with your memoir. You have such a message for the world, and of course there is a lot of interest in ALS with the work of Sandra Bullock. Katherine pointed her out as of interest in N. America, less known about in Europe. Missing you after our memorable times in our course and in our follow-up group. Love, Phyllis
Thank you for this lovely message Phyllis! The LoveBrain exercise sounds like an incredibly meaningful and cathartic experience - thank you so much for sharing!
Ruhie! I am in tears. This hit me so hard. First of all, what a lovely tribute. In many ways, I felt like I could have written something similar. In fact, I did. Though my father is still alive, I see him slowly progressing in his illness every time I see him, so I am writing for him. Our relationship wasn’t the best growing up but I know see my dad for who he really is and I want to honor that for him, for myself and for, as you’ve written, anyone else who has felt similar. Our memoirs start with the particular, but the messages are universal. So grateful to have found you and be able to read and learn from you! 💜
Thank you Rafia for this incredible feedback! It means a lot to know my words resonated with you, and I’m so glad we’ve connected too. There’s so much we have in common and can learn from each other :)
I’m in tears, Ruhie. I can only imagine the pain those last bit of time you had with your dad. Losing someone you love suddenly is one kind of pain. But being with that someone with the knowledge that they are gonna go, is deep and harrowing. I’m really glad that you are sending these letters to him, to us. He will be proud. ❤️
I am so happy you're writing a book too! This will be such an important book for both ALS families, and anyone navigating grief and loss. You are a fantastic writer and I know it's going to be great. ❤️
I'm cheering you and your writing, Ruhie. As someone who has also dealt with loss, I feel this piece deeply. Thank you for opening up your heart with such bravery. 💛
Thank you Evelyn! I really appreciate this feedback, especially from someone who's faced grief themselves. It means a lot to know what I share is helpful and resonates with others 🩶
Such an incredible letter, thanks for sharing it with me. I lost my dad 23 years ago to cancer, and much of what you write resonated with me deeply. They're always with us, and it's incredible how often they show up when we least expect it - in my grandson's smirk, while watching some old guy on YouTube turn a chair leg, in the smell of German Potato Salad. Take care of yourself as you walk this journey.
Thank you Lori for this lovely feedback and for sharing your experience! I'm sorry for your loss - even though it was many years ago, grief doesn't go away. These little daily reminders of the those we've lost are incredibly powerful, aren't they? Bittersweet moments that often come by surprise and take our breath away... a way of preserving their memory even in their absence.
Wow Soumya thank you so much for this generous feedback! It’s very special to know that others who’ve been here too can relate and feel seen by what I share. It truly makes this all worthwhile ❤️
Love this. And, yes, if you reach one person with what you write, it will be worth it. I'm quite sure you will reach more.
Beautiful.
I write about my dad a lot too, and it is healing.
Thank you so much for reading Shell! You're right about healing and I find there is healing in all phases - the writing, the sharing and the interactions that come from it. I look forward to reading more of your work too :)
Dear Ruhie . I was so moved by your amazing writing . It relates so much with my family . Our world was shattered when we were told that our son has Autism as you know is not curable . At first we were so shell shocked . It took us a while to even think about how to move forward . Now we try and do what we can for him - keeping him happy and healthy . Take him on trips , eat out ( what he enjoys) . Believe me it's still not easy at all . It is with us forever .
Your write up about enjoy the moment is so true . Keep writing !!!
Thank you so much Vaishalee aunty! I fully understand and appreciate you pointing out how a lot of what I share relates to you and your family too. Grief comes in many forms right? Although the situations are different, the human experience is in essence very similar. The shock, the heartache, the grief over what we imagine life will look like versus the reality we are faced with, and how we ultimately find ways to cope and live with joy through unimaginable hardship. You and your family are a true inspiration in regards to this latter point ❤️
Hello Ruhie, so wonderful to share in your letters to your Dad, overcoming his objections about making him so special. I admire your taking it on to share deeply, inviting me to be in this with you and thereby also allow myself to be vulnerable, as you are. I've recently been on LoveBrain, a four-day course for memory, focus and reading speed with a 90 day mastery programme. During LoveBrain's four days we looked at how our brain stops us as it's designed to protect us. So we learn mastery over our brain. One process we go through afterwards is writing to our parents, one after the other. The first letters are done on toilet paper, expressing all the anger, hurt, shame, and this is called 'I release you'. That gets put into running water or down the toilet, or if the parent is deceased, it gets burned. I started with the parent I was closest to, my mother. It took four 'I release you' letters. Then I wrote a love letter to my Mama, and as I'm writing this I feel that love for my mother. With my father it took five 'I release you' letters, and again a love letter. I feel that love for him as I write this, much more deeply than I've ever felt. It was a great release for me, as I know my brain was holding onto 5,000 years of my ancestors protecting it, personified in my mother and father. The course and also myself are not blaming my parents, just letting that hold of the past go. It's so beautiful to see how you and your family were able to care for your father, to let him know how much he is loved, and you are doing that in your letters to him. I am so happy I have written to my parents at this stage. I only hope that my son can go through such a process as I know there is so much to let go of. That is for him to take on. I'm looking forward to reading more of your letters. Katherine and I had our memoir writing review Thursday 15th Aug, and we both hope that you will carry on with your memoir. You have such a message for the world, and of course there is a lot of interest in ALS with the work of Sandra Bullock. Katherine pointed her out as of interest in N. America, less known about in Europe. Missing you after our memorable times in our course and in our follow-up group. Love, Phyllis
Thank you for this lovely message Phyllis! The LoveBrain exercise sounds like an incredibly meaningful and cathartic experience - thank you so much for sharing!
Ruhie! I am in tears. This hit me so hard. First of all, what a lovely tribute. In many ways, I felt like I could have written something similar. In fact, I did. Though my father is still alive, I see him slowly progressing in his illness every time I see him, so I am writing for him. Our relationship wasn’t the best growing up but I know see my dad for who he really is and I want to honor that for him, for myself and for, as you’ve written, anyone else who has felt similar. Our memoirs start with the particular, but the messages are universal. So grateful to have found you and be able to read and learn from you! 💜
Thank you Rafia for this incredible feedback! It means a lot to know my words resonated with you, and I’m so glad we’ve connected too. There’s so much we have in common and can learn from each other :)
I’m in tears, Ruhie. I can only imagine the pain those last bit of time you had with your dad. Losing someone you love suddenly is one kind of pain. But being with that someone with the knowledge that they are gonna go, is deep and harrowing. I’m really glad that you are sending these letters to him, to us. He will be proud. ❤️
Thank you Shanjitha! I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts here 💛
Love this Ruhie, really look forward to reading your newsletters and can’t wait for your book 😍
Thanks Malavika! I really appreciate the support ❤️
I am so happy you're writing a book too! This will be such an important book for both ALS families, and anyone navigating grief and loss. You are a fantastic writer and I know it's going to be great. ❤️
Thanks so much Chris! I really hope to add value to conversations around these important topics 💛
I'm cheering you and your writing, Ruhie. As someone who has also dealt with loss, I feel this piece deeply. Thank you for opening up your heart with such bravery. 💛
Thank you Evelyn! I really appreciate this feedback, especially from someone who's faced grief themselves. It means a lot to know what I share is helpful and resonates with others 🩶
I love these letters and learn so much from them. Thanks for sharing your heart with us, Ruhie!
Thank you Heidi! This means a lot 💛
Such an incredible letter, thanks for sharing it with me. I lost my dad 23 years ago to cancer, and much of what you write resonated with me deeply. They're always with us, and it's incredible how often they show up when we least expect it - in my grandson's smirk, while watching some old guy on YouTube turn a chair leg, in the smell of German Potato Salad. Take care of yourself as you walk this journey.
Thank you Lori for this lovely feedback and for sharing your experience! I'm sorry for your loss - even though it was many years ago, grief doesn't go away. These little daily reminders of the those we've lost are incredibly powerful, aren't they? Bittersweet moments that often come by surprise and take our breath away... a way of preserving their memory even in their absence.
Hey Ruhie, I just wanted to say how moved I was by this incredible piece, I am in tears.
Your words are deeply touching and all too relatable…
Your ability to share your emotions and experiences with such vulnerability is truly remarkable.
Please keep writing the way you are - you're making a difference! ❤️
Wow Soumya thank you so much for this generous feedback! It’s very special to know that others who’ve been here too can relate and feel seen by what I share. It truly makes this all worthwhile ❤️