#19 I cheated on Substack with TikTok! And I have so much to unpack...
Key takeaways from my social media experiment - and how they can help you
Late last year, I hit a wall with Substack and Instagram. Despite the time, effort and passion I was putting into both platforms, traction felt sluggish and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t reaching the audience I hoped for. I felt demoralised.
That’s when I started hearing all the buzz about TikTok and its explosive growth potential. Curious about the hype, I decided it’s now or never to dabble in the world of TikTok. What I found was eye-opening, game-changing, and at times seriously overwhelming.
In today’s newsletter, I share the key lessons I learned from this experiment, the highs and lows of TikTok, what Substack provides that you can’t find anywhere else, and things to consider moving forward. While I’m far from an expert, I wanted to share what I’ve gained from my own trial-and-error experience, in the hopes that it may offer insights that could help you navigate your own journey and growing your online presence.
I’d love to hear from you! When you’re done reading, click the COMMENT button below and let us know:
Are you on TikTok? What has your experience been so far?
If not, are you curious? What’s stopping you?
Which point resonates with you the most?
Hi, I’m Ruhie! A writer, doctor, mum, and a daughter who lost her dad to a terminal illness.
Click HERE to read more about me, my story and my mission with this newsletter.
TikTok PROS:
1️⃣ Combining visuals and audio takes content to the next level
The ability to use visual and sound features on TikTok adds to the viewing experience and emotional impact of your content. Yes, words alone can be incredibly powerful. But incorporating images, videos and stirring music intensifies the emotive resonance.
Some of my most popular posts have been those where I’ve leveraged visual and audio elements to tell a story. For example, this one which at the time of writing has 65K views and rising.
In just 18 seconds, this sequence of video clips paired with powerful audio shows the heartbreaking reality of my dad’s fight with ALS/MND. The contrast between footage of him when he was healthy and the raw images of his physical decline, combined with an emotional song and lyrics, grabs attention and creates a deep, moving connection with viewers through the powerful blend of sound and visuals.
I have to add, it’s entirely possible that this can be done on Substack too and I just haven’t figured it out yet. If anyone knows how, please enlighten me! Perhaps a Substack pro like
from Sparkle on Substack or , or even the Substack CEO himself, , could shed some light on it?2️⃣ Viral growth at your fingertips
The growth potential on TikTok is unparalleled. The platform’s algorithm allows you to reach large numbers of people at an unprecedented pace.
I’ve experienced it firsthand — some of my videos (like the one above) that have only 2000-3000 views on Instagram have reached over 50-60K on TikTok, all with the exact same video, audio and captions. It’s mind-blowing.
Let me give you a side-by-side comparison. I posted this NOTE on Substack on 18th January recounting a core memory with my dad — when I was 35 weeks pregnant, despite him being completely paralysed by that point in his disease and only leaving the house for medical appointments, he attended the birth of my firstborn, his first grandchild. The post received 186 likes and 24 comments, making it one of my most ‘successful’ notes so far. It means a lot to know that this deeply personal story resonated with people.
I posted the same story on TikTok as a series of photos ten days earlier — it now has over 15K views, 600 likes and 100 comments.
Let’s cut to the chase and talk about the number we’re all told to focus on: followers or subscribers. While my counts aren’t massive, I’ve gained over 1000 followers on TikTok in just three months, compared to 260 on Substack in six months and fewer than 200 on Instagram (many of whom are friends and family - big shoutout to you all!). Just to be clear, neither is better or worse. This is simply a comparison of metrics. I firmly believe it’s the quality of the connections, and the loyalty and support of your followers, that matters more than the numbers themselves — more on that point later.
But TikTok’s capacity for a much broader reach is undeniable. This matters because we all want our content to connect with those who will benefit from it. My goal in sharing my story is to help others who’ve experienced grief feel seen and less alone as they navigate life after loss and their own healing journey. Grief is universal, but it’s often neglected, misunderstood or minimised. I want my message to reach those who need it most, and a platform that can support that is essential.
3️⃣ Doesn’t shy away from the hard stuff
TikTok sets itself apart by being far less curated than platforms like Instagram. It's a space where people aren't afraid to share the raw, unfiltered realities of life. Not only are they not afraid — it seems to be actively encouraged. The content is less about perfection or perception, and more about real, human experiences.
This openness makes it easier to let your guard down and share the full scope of your emotions — even the more confronting, sad or painful ones that you might feel less comfortable sharing on other platforms.
For example, this video is my fastest growing post so far on TikTok:
My immediate reaction after filming it was “I can’t be seen like this!” It’s terrifying to be so vulnerable and expose your heart so publicly. Certainly on Instagram or here Substack, you rarely see people openly crying (at least, not to the same level or not that I’ve seen); but I’ve found that on TikTok, it's not at all uncommon. In fact, some of the most viral content about grief is when people show themselves at their lowest points.
So I thought, well why not? This is the reality of grief. It’s not pretty — it’s messy, life-altering and heartbreaking. And based on the resounding response to this post, it’s clear that reality resonates on TikTok. Within 24 hours it had over 10K views. Now, five days later, it’s reached almost 25K views, 1500 likes and 250 comments from people who connected deeply with the message.
4️⃣ Can help to sharpen your ideas and shape longer-form writing
This was totally unexpected, but posting short-form content on TikTok has actually helped my long-form writing here on Substack. The challenge of being impactful while staying concise has worked wonders for clarifying my vision and refining my message. The feedback I’ve received from other users has been invaluable, showing me what resonates with my audience and what they are truly interests them. In fact, some of my recent (and future) Substack articles have been inspired by my shorter TikTok posts, where I take the core ideas and elaborate on them. Pretty neat, right?
5️⃣ You can find support & validation
I have found and connected with other grievers on TikTok, showing that it can be a source of tremendous support and validation. I’ve seen videos that speak to my soul, and and in return, people have reached out to say my posts have touched them in the same way.
Here’s one I posted on a whim one day when I was thinking about my dad and the many unanswered questions I’m left with since he died:
I have been amazed at the outpouring of support this video has received. It’s has over 75K views and sparked over 800 comments (and still going), all from people sharing their own experience of grief and offering solidarity with responses like:
“I feel the exact same way”
“I ask the same questions every day”
“I feel like I made this TikTok”
“These same thoughts keep me up at night”
“You’re not alone”
To know there are so many others out there feeling exactly what I feel — to hear and see such powerful, collective experiences — is incredibly validating. It’s a reminder that I’m not alone in my grief.
But — yes, there’s a but ⬇️
TikTok CONS:
1️⃣ The connections can feel less substantive
In the three months I’ve been on TikTok, I’ve formed some meaningful connections with fellow grievers — people I communicate with and support regularly, and who do the same for me. However, the vast majority of interactions are fleeting. A casual like here, a passing comment there. A brief moment of shared understanding before we move on.
Maybe I haven’t been on the platform long enough to build deeper relationships, but what I’ve noticed is that TikTok feels like a series of beautiful, powerful encounters with strangers — like meeting someone at a park or train station, having a meaningful exchange, and then never seeing them again. Or like bonding with an acquaintance at a dinner party over a shared experience, but it’s not enough to fuel an ongoing friendship; the connection fades, only to be rekindled occasionally when paths cross at social events.
I’ll speak more on support and connection later.
2️⃣ It’s a major time suck
Yes, TikTok offers huge growth potential, but it comes with a significant time commitment. To succeed, you need to post multiple times a day and engage consistently. While I can barely manage two posts a day, some creators post five or more. Who has time for that? I certainly don’t.
On top of frequent posting, TikTok rewards engagement. Experts recommend spending 10-15 minutes interacting with others before and after posting, especially within your niche. This means at least 30 minutes of interaction-time per post, so if you're posting four times a day, that’s two hours just for engaging with others—before even considering the time you spent on brainstorming, filming, editing, adding captions, audio and so on.
It’s no wonder I spend most of my free time on TikTok because the demands are immense. Perhaps there are tips or tools to streamline this process that I haven’t discovered yet, so if anyone has insights, I’m all ears.
It’s worth noting that TikTok isn’t the only platform doing this—Substack also rewards active users with greater visibility. Creating content on any platform requires time, and it ultimately comes down to where you choose to invest it.
3️⃣ It can be mentally draining too
The goal of TikTok is to keep users on the platform for as long as possible. I’ve learnt from my short experience there how easy it can be to fall into the habit of constantly reopening and refreshing the app to check for new likes, comments, shares or followers. The dopamine rush is addictive, but the mental toll is overwhelming.
If you’re not careful, your moods can very quickly become tied to how your latest post performs — and when this is happening several times a day, it’s a lot. I speak from experience. When your latest post does well, you feel energised and upbeat. But when it doesn’t, you can get caught in obsessing over why it’s not gaining traction, wondering what you could have done differently, and comparing yourself to others in an never-ending spiral. All of this not only takes up so much time, it’s mentally exhausting too.
4️⃣ Far more traction with trends than original content
One of the best things about Substack is the emphasis is on creating original content. But TikTok operates differently. There, success often hinges disproportionately on jumping on trends and riding the latest wave. Whether it’s a viral song, a popular visual style or trending on-screen text, posts that follow these trends get more exposure. You can put your own spin on a trend to fit your personal story, message or niche, which requires some creativity, but it’s not truly original work.
Maybe I’m being too critical, but to me, it feels more meaningful when an original post connects with people, rather than one that’s simply recreated a trend.
Moreover, trends are dynamic and ever-evolving, so it can feel like you’re always playing catch up as you try to stay on top of the latest wave — further adding to the overall time and mental strain.
5️⃣ There’s no rhyme or reason to what makes posts successful
While there’s strategies that can help boost your chances of success (like on-screen text, hashtags, and recreating viral content), there’s no guarantees or consistency when it comes to whether it will land or not. Posts I’ve spent time carefully crafting can sometimes fall flat, while others I make without any pre-planning (like the video above) unexpectedly go gangbusters.
Even when you leverage a trending reel with hundreds of thousands of views, your own version might get far fewer and it’s hard to pinpoint why: Is it the text? Hashtags — too many, not enough, too broad, too narrow? Was it the audio? Or the background? Everything feels kind of random, and predicting what will resonate is tough. All you can do is post what feels meaningful to you and hope it connects with others.
6️⃣ You’re bound to your niche
To gain recognition and reach the right people on TikTok, you need to post consistently on a specific topic. The algorithm will then know who to target and will work to push your content to the ideal audience. Experts discourage posting on random topics — say, grief one day, lifestyle the next, then family, fashion, and back to grief — because it confuses the algorithm. If it can’t match your content with the right audience, you won’t gain traction or grow. More importantly, you won’t reach the people who truly need your message.
Sure, as you grow in followers, you might branch out. But I’ve noticed even other creators in the grief space stay largely focused on that one topic. While grief is central to my life and purpose, it’s not everything. There’s more to me and my life that I’d like to share, but so far I’ve avoided it on TikTok for this reason.
On the other hand, on platforms like Instagram and Substack, there’s more freedom to showcase the full scope of your life, allowing people to see the real person behind the content. Unfortunately, that’s much harder to do on TikTok, at least in these early stages.
7️⃣ Questionable reliability
There is widespread, growing mistrust of big tech companies, for obvious and understandable reasons. TikTok’s reliability has come into question recently due to concerns over its security and data privacy. We saw a brief shutdown in the US a few weeks ago, which definitely raised some red flags about its reliability going forward. There are also ongoing concerns about data privacy and security, especially with regards to how user information is being handled.
On top of that, when you post on TikTok, you don’t actually own your content. That was news to me! This means you have no control over how your videos are being used, shared, exploited or even removed without your consent — a point which
brought up in her insightful piece “Platform Politics and the Luxury of Moral Purity”.It all feels a bit (a lot) unsettling when you stop and think about it. It’s hard to trust a platform when you don’t know how secure your data really is, and you don’t have autonomy over your own content.
What I missed about Substack:
I love long-form writing
I just can't go past the authenticity, depth and flexibility that long-form writing offers. I’ve always been drawn to exploring topics in depth, allowing myself the space to really dig into the nuances and complexities that short-form content doesn’t always allow.
Substack gives me the freedom to express myself more fully and thoughtfully, thereby creating a deeper connection with my audience; unlike on TikTok where I often feel rushed, limited by time, and constrained by the need to fit everything into a quick, punchy clip.
Long-form writing gives you the opportunity to deep-dive into the topics you’re passionate about, fostering a more meaningful connection with your readers, free from the pressure of algorithms or fleeting trends. It allows you craft content that genuinely reflects your personal voice, leading to a more intentional and fulfilling way of communicating.
The vibe here is unparalleled
Instagram often feels a bit surface-level and lacklustre — like a highlight reel that doesn’t quite capture the depth of real connection. It can feel curated to the point of being detached from real life. Posts can easily fall flat, fail to gain traction or attract followers, leaving you wondering if anyone is really seeing your work. For this reason, I rarely post on Instagram nowadays.
TikTok has a certain rawness to it — which can be refreshing but at times feels almost grungy. It’s full of energy and trends, but it can also feel scattered and a bit overwhelming. While there’s certainly room for connection, it can be harder to find moments of depth amidst the fast pace and constant flow of content.
To me, Substack is like a breath of fresh air. There’s this real sense of camaraderie, like being part of a community where people truly support one another. It’s so much more wholesome and personal — the connections are deeper, and building meaningful relationships just feels natural. It’s a space where everyone lifts each other up and engages with each other’s work in a way that feels genuine and heartfelt.
Variety feeds the soul and fuels creativity
Substack offers such a refreshing variety of content that truly nourishes the mind and ignites inspiration. With so many diverse topics to explore, there really is something for everyone — whether it’s personal stories, thought-provoking essays, or deep dives into different topics.
Being here opens your mind to new possibilities, challenges your thinking, and encourages you to ask questions you hadn’t considered before, expanding your horizon in unexpected and exciting ways.
What I love most is how it’s stimulating without ever feeling overwhelming. I can explore new ideas and perspectives at my own pace, and it never feels like information overload. Instead, it feels like a space where I can learn, reflect, and be inspired in ways that are both fulfilling and enjoyable.
So, should you take the plunge into the world of TikTok? Here’s my plans moving forward:
You’d think with more cons than pros of using TikTok, this would be a no-brainer. But in all honesty, this question is really tough to answer. It all comes down to finding the right balance.
So I go back to my WHY and my values. At the end of the day, it’s not just about chasing numbers — it’s about being intentional with my time and energy, and finding a space where I can share my story in a way that truly resonates with those who need it.
I’m still trying to figure out what this looks like for me. I’m not done experimenting yet — but I do know I want to invest more time and focus where I feel most aligned, even if it means stepping back from the noise (and trends). So I’ll keep juggling both platforms, for now, with a plan to shift towards spending more time on Substack where I feel undoubtedly happier, calmer, and more connected with like-minded writers, readers, creatives and of course, fellow grievers.
Thanks so much for reading today’s letter 🙏🏼🫶🏽
I’d love to hear from you! Click the COMMENT button below and let us know:
Are you on TikTok? What has your experience been so far?
If not, are you curious? What’s stopping you?
Which point resonates with you the most?
Thank you for being here and supporting my work. I am truly grateful!
If you got value from this and you think others might too, please:
Click the HEART button 💟 and leave me a COMMENT 💬
SUBSCRIBE for free to “From the Heart to Beyond”
SHARE my newsletter with someone you think would appreciate it
And don’t forget to
🌈 Live Fully
💛 Love Deeply
😁 Laugh Often
⏳ Make the most of the time we are given
Great write-up, Ruhie! I enjoyed your thoughts on this. Always good to experiment, and the explosive growth does sound super tempting, especially when you have an important story to tell.
What beautiful videos of your Dad and his love and dedication to you. I can see your bond and understand your heartbreak. What a gift to have had such a tremendous supporter. Love to you. (My Dad died of dementia 10 years ago. He was my biggest supporter.)